The Variety Pack
by Amy-Star
Summary: Blaine finds himself in the condom aisle with not just his boyfriend but his brother too.


Blaine was no longer a blushing virgin when it came to sex.

Sure, when he was a hormonal fifteen year old dealing with the confusing feelings about not only sex but the fact he liked men it was different. He had no one to educate him which made the situation harder. He hadn't been able to tell his parents he was gay. There was no chance his school would be giving a sex-ed class to the gay kids. Which left Blaine to his own devices. He searched out the basics on the internet. The importance of using condoms and lube. How to stretch yourself out if you were the bottom. The positions that were easiest for the first time. He'd seen many things on the internet that educated him and disturbed him and even turned him on. Needless to say Blaine didn't turn into a stuttering mess whenever the subject of sex came up. In fact he was quite proud of how openly he could talk about it.

Until of course his brother and boyfriend decided to gang up on him.

It was suppose to be a quick stop. The three of them were just driving back from Blaine's Aunts who hosted a Christmas Eve party. Blaine had told Cooper he wanted to stop at Walmart to get tums but in fact he wanted to get condoms. The one thing Sebastian and him forgot to pack from their apartment in New York. Blaine had thought he could get through a week without sex but after two days he knew that wasn't an option. However finding time to sneak away from putting up the tree with his Dad or baking cookies with his Mom to grab condoms in order to have sex with his boyfriend proved impossible. Which is why he resorted to lying.

"Do you want me to come in with you babe?" Sebastian asked him in concern, "If your stomach hurts I can grab the tums for you."

"No it's fine," Blaine put on a fake grimace to show he was in pain but not about to keel over. Those acting classes he was taking at NYU were coming in handy at the moment.

"You sure Squirt?" Cooper twisted around from the front seat to stare at him.

"Totally," Blaine said quickly, "I'll be right back."

He rushed out of the car in order to avoid anymore probing questions. The night air was cool and brisk. It was probably going to snow tomorrow which made Blaine a little giddy. He loved being home for Christmas this year. The spending time Cooper. Watching Sebastian interact and slowly become accepted by his family. If he could have just one night of "alone time" with Sebastian then everything would be perfect.

He quickened his pace inside the store and made a beeline to the pharmacy section. He barely was able to take a look at the selection before the sound of his brother's voice reached his ears.

"I don't think these will help with your stomachache baby brother."

Blaine let out a soft groan. The last thing he wanted was to have Cooper be around when he was picking out condoms. However when he turned around he found that matters could actually get much worse. Standing beside with brother with a matching smirk on his face was Sebastian.

"Um I…I can explain…"

"No need to," Sebastian said in a silky smooth voice that normally Blaine loved but not when his brother was standing five feet away, "I think we can guess what kind of 'ache' you're dealing with."

"Honestly Blaine I'm insulted you never thought to ask my opinion," Cooper scoffed.

"I'm not exactly buying a pair of pants Coop," Blaine said in a strained voice, "This is kind of more intimate."

"We're brothers and friends Blaine," Cooper gazed at him with a saddened blue eyes, "If you can't ask your brother to help you then who can you?"

Blaine had no idea how his brother managed to make him feel guilty about not asking his opinions on what condoms to get.

"I'm the one who should be insulted," Sebastian walked forward to inspect the merchandise, "Since I'm the one who will be participating in said sex that the condoms will be used for."

"I know a thing or two about these matters," Cooper said confidently, "As Blaine's older brother it's my responsibility to make sure he's protected in any situation."

Blaine stood there frozen in horror as his boyfriend and brother began to discuss what would be the best choice.

"These have always been reliable," Sebastian selected a black box that read "TROGAN MAGNUM: LARGE."

"Someone is compensating," Cooper teased Sebastian.

"Oh they're not for me," Sebastian twisted his head to wink at a blushing Blaine.

"Naturally," Cooper nodded in approval, "Us Anderson men have always been well endowed. In fact even as a kid Blaine had the biggest-"

"Coop stop!" Blaine cried out in horror while placing his hands over his ears.

"Don't be such a prude Blaine," Cooper rolled his eyes at him, "Be proud of your big cock."

"Yeah Blaine," Sebastian mimicked in fake serious voice, "Be proud of your big cock."

Blaine wanted the earth to open up and swallow him right then and there.

"What about chocolate flavored?" Cooper held out a box.

"Blaine does like the flavored ones," Sebastian readily agreed, "But strawberry is his favorite."

"Sebastian," Blaine warned through gritted teeth.

"Yes baby?" Sebastian turned to gaze at him with green eyes wide and innocent.

"Could you not tell my brother that," Blaine told him in exasperation.

"Blaine look!" Cooper cried out in excitement, "This one has a vibrator ring with it! You love vibrators right? I never told you but I found your vibrator collection when you were in high school. Do you still like them now?"

At that point Blaine decided to turn on heel and leave the store before he died of embarrassment.

* * *

Christmas morning Blaine had still not forgiven Sebastian or Cooper.

Both of them had apologized several times but he continued to give them both the silent treatment. Needless to say it was an awkward Christmas morning filled with a tense silence. Blaine avoided everyone's glace. Cooper and Sebastian kept trying to talk to Blaine but getting no response. His parents stared at the three of them in confusion.

It wasn't till opening presents that Blaine began to relax his harsh stance. Especially when he opened Sebastian's gift that revealed a gorgeous collection of bowties and two tickets to a musical he wanted to see for months.

"Thank you," Blaine reached up to place a soft kiss on Sebastian's cheek. It was both to show his gratitude and a peace offering.

"Open mine next," Cooper said eagerly.

Blaine gave his brother a small smile. Perhaps he'd been too harsh on him. Even though he did it in a rather twisted way Blaine knew his brother had honestly wanted to help him. In the spirit of Christmas he decided to forgive his brother.

"Thanks Coop," Blaine took the present that had been wrapped with too much tape.

"It's for you and Sebastian," Cooper clarified.

Warmth spread across Blaine's chest at that. He appreciated his brother accepting Sebastian as his boyfriend and hopefully a new member of their family.

Blaine carefully unwrapped one corner of the present and peeled the paper back. A bright red blush crossed his cheek when he realized what the present was. A variety pack of Trojan condoms. Sebastian peered over his shoulder and chuckled when he saw what it was.

"What did you get sweetheart?" His mother prompted when Blaine hadn't unwrapped the rest of it.

"Something to help with a certain 'ache' Squirt gets from time to time."

Cooper's proud smirk on his face last mere seconds before he ducked down when Blaine threw the box at his head.


End file.
